It is truly amazing to me how the universe answers my prayers. When I posted "A Test of Faith" it had been over two months since I had had anything to say, and I was feeling so dejected and upset at the lack of progress I was making. I had been posting my new blog entries on my Facebook page in the hopes that that would help me get my message out and I had sent out the other e-mail. I had been talking to people about the book, but I was getting nowhere.
However twenty-four hours after posting "A Test of Faith" to my Facebook status I received two responses. One was from a woman who told me her aunt had a great story but wasn’t sure she would be willing to share it. The other from a woman who had read my blog and was so touched by it that she felt she had to contact me. And I am so grateful she did. She has one of the most beautiful fairy tale love stories I have heard.
Her response has again restored my faith that this journey has purpose and I am not just wasting my time. Ask and you shall receive. These words could not be truer than at this moment.
A year ago I was sitting in the bedroom at my friend Erica’s house. We were both beginning new journeys in our lives. Both standing at the edge of a cliff, ready and willing to jump off in pursuit of our goals. We looked at the time and the date. It was three-eleven pm on March eleventh. We made a pact that day to chase our respective dreams and see where we were exactly a year from that day. Had we accomplished anything? Were we closer to the end? Was it worth it? Or would it be, perhaps, time to move on?
I can honestly tell you that if you had asked me a few months ago if it was worth continuing, I would not have been entirely sure. I was hanging on by a thread. My wall was so high at that point I couldn’t even see the top and there was absolutely no hint that my staircase was ever going to appear. But now, on the cusp of that anniversary, I am charging full speed ahead. I am full of energy and hope again, and inspiration is flowing out of my pores. In the last few days I have made so much progress that I have not only scaled my wall, but I have left it far behind.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
A Test of Faith
As I reach the half-way mark of my journey I find myself wondering if I will ever reach the end of this quest. I have been looking for love stories for a year now. And at first the search seemed relatively easy. I asked the universe for proof of real life fairy tales and I was provided with a number of extraordinary and beautiful stories for my project. The generosity of the people who were willing to share their deepest emotions openly and fully with a complete stranger was an honor and a blessing. And I cherish every moment spent with the incredible people I have met so far.
But now the stories have stopped coming. I have hit the proverbial brick wall on my journey. And I don't quite know how to scale the wall and get to the other side. And as I sit on this side of it, I wonder if perhaps this is as far as I will get. A few beautiful stories, dangling in front of me like a carrot, but that's it.
Initially I sent out an e-mail, and the six degrees of separation effect that ensued through the forwarding of that e-mail resulted in the stories I have already researched. But the second e-mail I sent out recently has not had the same response, making me realize that perhaps I can't dip into the same pond twice and expect to receive a different gift. So now I have to think up new ways to reach out to strangers and find my love stories.
Which brings me back to my wall. I must have faith, I keep telling myself. But what is faith. And why is faith different from belief?
The dictionary says that faith is the firm belief in something for which there is no proof.*
Well...faith is what this journey has been about. Belief that fairy tales exist in real life and that I could find them if I looked for them. But I got stuck behind my wall and my faith started to falter.
Then I searched for and found other definitions of faith which inspired me and have given me hope that I will find a way to the top and onward on this path of discovery.
An ancient history book states that "faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see".**
And Martin Luther King Jr said that "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase".
I have never seen the whole staircase on this quest, but I was willing to put my life on hold in the pursuit of a dream, an idea, a hope that I would find the proof I was looking for. Proof that what I said in my last post was true. I do believe that love is out there for all for us, and I must have faith that maybe, one day, it will find me too. But for now, I sit on a step beside my wall, patiently waiting for the next step in my staircase. The one that will bring me to the other side and perhaps closer to the end of my journey.
*Merriam-Websters Dictionary
**found on line - source unknown
But now the stories have stopped coming. I have hit the proverbial brick wall on my journey. And I don't quite know how to scale the wall and get to the other side. And as I sit on this side of it, I wonder if perhaps this is as far as I will get. A few beautiful stories, dangling in front of me like a carrot, but that's it.
Initially I sent out an e-mail, and the six degrees of separation effect that ensued through the forwarding of that e-mail resulted in the stories I have already researched. But the second e-mail I sent out recently has not had the same response, making me realize that perhaps I can't dip into the same pond twice and expect to receive a different gift. So now I have to think up new ways to reach out to strangers and find my love stories.
Which brings me back to my wall. I must have faith, I keep telling myself. But what is faith. And why is faith different from belief?
The dictionary says that faith is the firm belief in something for which there is no proof.*
Well...faith is what this journey has been about. Belief that fairy tales exist in real life and that I could find them if I looked for them. But I got stuck behind my wall and my faith started to falter.
Then I searched for and found other definitions of faith which inspired me and have given me hope that I will find a way to the top and onward on this path of discovery.
An ancient history book states that "faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see".**
And Martin Luther King Jr said that "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase".
I have never seen the whole staircase on this quest, but I was willing to put my life on hold in the pursuit of a dream, an idea, a hope that I would find the proof I was looking for. Proof that what I said in my last post was true. I do believe that love is out there for all for us, and I must have faith that maybe, one day, it will find me too. But for now, I sit on a step beside my wall, patiently waiting for the next step in my staircase. The one that will bring me to the other side and perhaps closer to the end of my journey.
*Merriam-Websters Dictionary
**found on line - source unknown
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