The Age of Technology

I have been thinking a lot lately about how technology has changed not only the way we find love, but also how we communicate our feelings and intentions to those we care about.

E-mail, cell phones, texting. We live in an age where we are constantly connected. And while this technology has spawned the birth of Internet dating and social networking sites and allowed us to find and become acquainted with people we otherwise may not have ever met before, it has also made it possible to never have to personally interact with each other if we don't want to.

Internet dating is an amazing thing. And there are thousands, millions of people who have met their partners using the various sites available. Social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace have allowed people to reconnect with people they have lost touch with. In the past, when people moved and phone numbers changed, there were acquaintances, even friends that perhaps never got the message, or change of address notifications we used to mail. Yes, mail...via the United States Postal Service. But with the advent of Facebook we have found those people we had been missing. Now we know what they are having for breakfast, and where they were last night, and who they got drunk with, or that they have a headache today, and that their mythical creature is a unicorn. We now have more information about these people than we ever wanted to know. And although I am a big fan of Facebook, I'm on it everyday reading the news feed to find out all this information about my "friends", and using it to help promote my Love Stories project, I do wonder why we spend so much time on this site. Why we are so interested in what is mostly unimportant information. Why do we need to know what our "friends" are doing at every moment of every day. Lets face it, most of the people on my friends list I don't even have their telephone numbers. If I wanted to 'reach out and touch them' my only ability to do so is via Facebook.

Which brings me to another issue. It used to be, when we wanted to make plans to meet our friends we had to pick up the phone and actually talk. But lately, we text the when and where. When we met someone new, particularly a potential love interest, the most exciting part in the beginning was waiting for the phone calls. Getting the chance to actually have a conversation. I remember spending hours on the phone, ignoring the call waiting, talking to a new boyfriend. And I remember the era before call waiting when I had to keep the phone line open, in case "he" called. (Not that I ever want to go through that again!) And, I remember when it was time to break up, the agony of either getting or having to make that fateful phone call to end things. It was bad, but it had to be done in person. And if you really couldn't say what needed to be said in person, you wrote a long dramatic letter outlining all the reasons why, and put it in the mail. But now, more and more, we text our feelings instead of saying them out loud. We e-mail our love letters, instead of writing them in our own hand. And to me it's sad that these love letters and breakup letters that we keep in a shoebox or a drawer to remember, are computer printouts and not the beautiful handwriting of our beloveds. The handwriting that in itself brings back memories.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the irony of this post. I am 'blogging' my feelings about the unfeeling Internet. And also, don't misunderstand. I am a big fan of the age of technology. I go nowhere without my blackberry, which keeps me connected to my beloved e-mail at all times. But I hope that we remember that a phone call is always better than a text. And a love letter is always better written by hand, put in an envelope and mailed, for the recipient to treasure forever. Even if the love doesn't last, the letter will stay in that shoebox for someone to find and say "Wow, what a beautiful letter."

Let us not forget that human interaction is essential for us to grow. Learning how to converse and listen when someone speaks is how a relationship thrives. And the more we rely on Facebook, texting and e-mail to express ourselves, the worse our social skills will become, until we will no longer be able to connect with each other on any level at all, except through the unfeeling, unemotional, impersonal world of technology.