The definition of belief is the acceptance of truth of something: acceptance by the mind that something is true or real, often underpinned by an emotional or spiritual sense of certainty and trust: confidence that somebody or something is good or will be effective.*
I just watched Julie and Julia. It's a terrific movie about Julia Child and her quest to get her cookbook published and a young woman named Julie, who is a bit lost, and doesn't know what to do with her life. She decides to write a blog about her efforts to cook all of Julia Child's Recipes from How To Master French Cooking in one year. It was, for me, a story about believing in oneself.
There are so many similarities to my life that I don't quite know where to begin. I have been lost. For a while. There were so many things I wanted to do with my life, but other things got in the way. There were so many ideas I had about where I would be, and what I would be doing when I reached forty. But life doesn't always turn out the way you planned. Mine certainly didn't. And for a long time I have been sad sometimes, disheartened and angry at other times. But mostly I have wondered what I want to be when I grow up. What I wanted when I was twenty and thirty isn't what I want now.
So, what do I want. Well, I want to do something inspiring. For myself. For others is a bonus, but mostly for myself. Writing about love is inspiring. Partly because I haven't found it yet. Partly because it's universal, and partly because it makes me feel good. But it's the belief that fairy tales are real, that they exist, that keeps me going. And meeting people who have their own fairy tales to tell, real fairy tales, the proof of the myth...That keeps me searching for the next one.
But there is another kind of belief that is powerful,and beautiful and precious. It is the overwhelming feeling you get when someone else believes in you. The first person to believe in my Love Stories project was my friend Felicia. Then there is my friend Doug, who really pushed me try to make it happen. But the person whose belief has meant the most is my mother. And it is her belief in what I am doing coupled with my own need to see this through that makes it all worth it.
Here's what I have found so far...
I believe in fairy tale love. I believe it is more prevalent then we think. I believe that love is powerful. I believe that when someone else believes in you it makes you powerful. I believe that love is precious, and sacred and should never be taken for granted.
I believe in me. I may falter sometimes, and I may lose my way. But I believe...
*Definition from Encarta World English Dictionary
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Age of Technology
I have been thinking a lot lately about how technology has changed not only the way we find love, but also how we communicate our feelings and intentions to those we care about.
E-mail, cell phones, texting. We live in an age where we are constantly connected. And while this technology has spawned the birth of Internet dating and social networking sites and allowed us to find and become acquainted with people we otherwise may not have ever met before, it has also made it possible to never have to personally interact with each other if we don't want to.
Internet dating is an amazing thing. And there are thousands, millions of people who have met their partners using the various sites available. Social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace have allowed people to reconnect with people they have lost touch with. In the past, when people moved and phone numbers changed, there were acquaintances, even friends that perhaps never got the message, or change of address notifications we used to mail. Yes, mail...via the United States Postal Service. But with the advent of Facebook we have found those people we had been missing. Now we know what they are having for breakfast, and where they were last night, and who they got drunk with, or that they have a headache today, and that their mythical creature is a unicorn. We now have more information about these people than we ever wanted to know. And although I am a big fan of Facebook, I'm on it everyday reading the news feed to find out all this information about my "friends", and using it to help promote my Love Stories project, I do wonder why we spend so much time on this site. Why we are so interested in what is mostly unimportant information. Why do we need to know what our "friends" are doing at every moment of every day. Lets face it, most of the people on my friends list I don't even have their telephone numbers. If I wanted to 'reach out and touch them' my only ability to do so is via Facebook.
Which brings me to another issue. It used to be, when we wanted to make plans to meet our friends we had to pick up the phone and actually talk. But lately, we text the when and where. When we met someone new, particularly a potential love interest, the most exciting part in the beginning was waiting for the phone calls. Getting the chance to actually have a conversation. I remember spending hours on the phone, ignoring the call waiting, talking to a new boyfriend. And I remember the era before call waiting when I had to keep the phone line open, in case "he" called. (Not that I ever want to go through that again!) And, I remember when it was time to break up, the agony of either getting or having to make that fateful phone call to end things. It was bad, but it had to be done in person. And if you really couldn't say what needed to be said in person, you wrote a long dramatic letter outlining all the reasons why, and put it in the mail. But now, more and more, we text our feelings instead of saying them out loud. We e-mail our love letters, instead of writing them in our own hand. And to me it's sad that these love letters and breakup letters that we keep in a shoebox or a drawer to remember, are computer printouts and not the beautiful handwriting of our beloveds. The handwriting that in itself brings back memories.
Don't get me wrong. I understand the irony of this post. I am 'blogging' my feelings about the unfeeling Internet. And also, don't misunderstand. I am a big fan of the age of technology. I go nowhere without my blackberry, which keeps me connected to my beloved e-mail at all times. But I hope that we remember that a phone call is always better than a text. And a love letter is always better written by hand, put in an envelope and mailed, for the recipient to treasure forever. Even if the love doesn't last, the letter will stay in that shoebox for someone to find and say "Wow, what a beautiful letter."
Let us not forget that human interaction is essential for us to grow. Learning how to converse and listen when someone speaks is how a relationship thrives. And the more we rely on Facebook, texting and e-mail to express ourselves, the worse our social skills will become, until we will no longer be able to connect with each other on any level at all, except through the unfeeling, unemotional, impersonal world of technology.
E-mail, cell phones, texting. We live in an age where we are constantly connected. And while this technology has spawned the birth of Internet dating and social networking sites and allowed us to find and become acquainted with people we otherwise may not have ever met before, it has also made it possible to never have to personally interact with each other if we don't want to.
Internet dating is an amazing thing. And there are thousands, millions of people who have met their partners using the various sites available. Social networking sites, like Facebook and Myspace have allowed people to reconnect with people they have lost touch with. In the past, when people moved and phone numbers changed, there were acquaintances, even friends that perhaps never got the message, or change of address notifications we used to mail. Yes, mail...via the United States Postal Service. But with the advent of Facebook we have found those people we had been missing. Now we know what they are having for breakfast, and where they were last night, and who they got drunk with, or that they have a headache today, and that their mythical creature is a unicorn. We now have more information about these people than we ever wanted to know. And although I am a big fan of Facebook, I'm on it everyday reading the news feed to find out all this information about my "friends", and using it to help promote my Love Stories project, I do wonder why we spend so much time on this site. Why we are so interested in what is mostly unimportant information. Why do we need to know what our "friends" are doing at every moment of every day. Lets face it, most of the people on my friends list I don't even have their telephone numbers. If I wanted to 'reach out and touch them' my only ability to do so is via Facebook.
Which brings me to another issue. It used to be, when we wanted to make plans to meet our friends we had to pick up the phone and actually talk. But lately, we text the when and where. When we met someone new, particularly a potential love interest, the most exciting part in the beginning was waiting for the phone calls. Getting the chance to actually have a conversation. I remember spending hours on the phone, ignoring the call waiting, talking to a new boyfriend. And I remember the era before call waiting when I had to keep the phone line open, in case "he" called. (Not that I ever want to go through that again!) And, I remember when it was time to break up, the agony of either getting or having to make that fateful phone call to end things. It was bad, but it had to be done in person. And if you really couldn't say what needed to be said in person, you wrote a long dramatic letter outlining all the reasons why, and put it in the mail. But now, more and more, we text our feelings instead of saying them out loud. We e-mail our love letters, instead of writing them in our own hand. And to me it's sad that these love letters and breakup letters that we keep in a shoebox or a drawer to remember, are computer printouts and not the beautiful handwriting of our beloveds. The handwriting that in itself brings back memories.
Don't get me wrong. I understand the irony of this post. I am 'blogging' my feelings about the unfeeling Internet. And also, don't misunderstand. I am a big fan of the age of technology. I go nowhere without my blackberry, which keeps me connected to my beloved e-mail at all times. But I hope that we remember that a phone call is always better than a text. And a love letter is always better written by hand, put in an envelope and mailed, for the recipient to treasure forever. Even if the love doesn't last, the letter will stay in that shoebox for someone to find and say "Wow, what a beautiful letter."
Let us not forget that human interaction is essential for us to grow. Learning how to converse and listen when someone speaks is how a relationship thrives. And the more we rely on Facebook, texting and e-mail to express ourselves, the worse our social skills will become, until we will no longer be able to connect with each other on any level at all, except through the unfeeling, unemotional, impersonal world of technology.
Monday, October 26, 2009
My Pupose for These Conversations
Someone asked me to clarify a bit better what the purpose of my blog is. So here is an explanation of what I am trying to do and why.
Carrie Bradshaw (the character from Sex and the City…in case you didn't know who she was) said it best.
"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous…Inconvenient…Consuming…Can't live without each other love."
When I heard that, I understood, because I have been looking for that my whole life. I thought I had found it once, but I was wrong and ended up getting terribly betrayed. Since then, I have been trying to find out if "True Love", the kind that you see in the movies, or read about in books, or dream about in the far away places of your imagination, really exists in life.
I want to believe it does. So…I am searching for proof.
I am putting together a collection of "Real Love Stories". Stories of true love that really happened. Extraordinary stories. Stories that defied time, distance, circumstance...stories of love lost and found again. Perhaps they are short stories. Or perhaps they lasted a lifetime. Whatever they are, they have to be true and they have to be the kind of stories that want to be told, that deserve to be told, that are begging to be told. The kinds of stories that will make even the hardest cynic think twice about love and romance.
Please help me. Maybe you, your grandparents, your parents or a friend has a story that fits this description. If you know of a story that deserves telling please contact me. I will go into more detail of what I intend to do with these stories to the people who ultimately become involved with the project.
If you don't have a story or know of one, will you please forward the link to this blog to 10 of your friends or colleagues? We are so willing to forward funny and interesting e-mails and jokes. Why not this? I am trying to reach as many people as possible. Will you help me?
Carrie Bradshaw (the character from Sex and the City…in case you didn't know who she was) said it best.
"I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous…Inconvenient…Consuming…Can't live without each other love."
When I heard that, I understood, because I have been looking for that my whole life. I thought I had found it once, but I was wrong and ended up getting terribly betrayed. Since then, I have been trying to find out if "True Love", the kind that you see in the movies, or read about in books, or dream about in the far away places of your imagination, really exists in life.
I want to believe it does. So…I am searching for proof.
I am putting together a collection of "Real Love Stories". Stories of true love that really happened. Extraordinary stories. Stories that defied time, distance, circumstance...stories of love lost and found again. Perhaps they are short stories. Or perhaps they lasted a lifetime. Whatever they are, they have to be true and they have to be the kind of stories that want to be told, that deserve to be told, that are begging to be told. The kinds of stories that will make even the hardest cynic think twice about love and romance.
Please help me. Maybe you, your grandparents, your parents or a friend has a story that fits this description. If you know of a story that deserves telling please contact me. I will go into more detail of what I intend to do with these stories to the people who ultimately become involved with the project.
If you don't have a story or know of one, will you please forward the link to this blog to 10 of your friends or colleagues? We are so willing to forward funny and interesting e-mails and jokes. Why not this? I am trying to reach as many people as possible. Will you help me?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Perspective
Someone asked me last night what makes a love story great. And it's not the first time I have been asked this on my journey. And I'm sure not the last. I ask myself that question every day.
Obviously it's a matter of perspective and opinion. For me, my perspective and opinion have been shaped by my own experiences and observations in the love department. I look at my parents, who were married for forty-four years until my dad died. And I remember when I was a teenager, and I was at the age when one is always embarrassed by one's parents, no matter what they do. My friends would come over and say "It's so cool. Your parents are still in love with each other." It would make me stop, and step out of my teenage self-consciousness and look and see what was right in front of me. And I remember later, a few years before my dad died that I saw the same thing my friends had when I was younger. And even though they had a normal marriage with fights and periods of not being "in love", I always wanted to find what they had. To me, what they had was extraordinary.
After my dad died, a few years later my mom fell in love again and got married at seventy-eight. They are so in love it's annoying. (Get a room!) But also charming and beautiful. And I know how lucky my mother is to have found two great loves in her life. We should all be so lucky.
My own experiences in love have made the hopeless romantic in me wonder about whether the kind of love we dream about is real. Whether it's attainable. And so, this journey. I must remember my mother. And I am reminded of a line from Romancing the Stone. Kathleen Turner says "Hopeful...Hopeful romantic".
That's what I want to be. Hopeful.
Obviously it's a matter of perspective and opinion. For me, my perspective and opinion have been shaped by my own experiences and observations in the love department. I look at my parents, who were married for forty-four years until my dad died. And I remember when I was a teenager, and I was at the age when one is always embarrassed by one's parents, no matter what they do. My friends would come over and say "It's so cool. Your parents are still in love with each other." It would make me stop, and step out of my teenage self-consciousness and look and see what was right in front of me. And I remember later, a few years before my dad died that I saw the same thing my friends had when I was younger. And even though they had a normal marriage with fights and periods of not being "in love", I always wanted to find what they had. To me, what they had was extraordinary.
After my dad died, a few years later my mom fell in love again and got married at seventy-eight. They are so in love it's annoying. (Get a room!) But also charming and beautiful. And I know how lucky my mother is to have found two great loves in her life. We should all be so lucky.
My own experiences in love have made the hopeless romantic in me wonder about whether the kind of love we dream about is real. Whether it's attainable. And so, this journey. I must remember my mother. And I am reminded of a line from Romancing the Stone. Kathleen Turner says "Hopeful...Hopeful romantic".
That's what I want to be. Hopeful.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Welcome to my blog.
Have you ever wondered if fairy tales exist in real life? Have you ever dreamed of finding the kind of love that is written about in books or portrayed in the movies?
I have. I have longed for that kind of love my whole life. So I started to ask if it was real. If that kind of love exists or if it's a myth. Are we all under some sort of delusion? Is all that romance made up? Does it only live in our imaginations?
I think not. I believe it exists in the real world. And so, I am on a quest to find out. A journey of sorts. I hope you will join me in my search.
I am looking for Love Stories. Real life Love Stories. Extraordinary stories. Stories that leave you stunned by their beauty and passion. Stories that affirm that love is out there for everyone. We all just have to be lucky enough to find it, recognize it and hold on to it.
Do you know any? If so, will you share them with the rest of us? We want to hear them.
Love is a promise, and a gift. Don't ever take it for granted. No matter what form it comes in.
I have. I have longed for that kind of love my whole life. So I started to ask if it was real. If that kind of love exists or if it's a myth. Are we all under some sort of delusion? Is all that romance made up? Does it only live in our imaginations?
I think not. I believe it exists in the real world. And so, I am on a quest to find out. A journey of sorts. I hope you will join me in my search.
I am looking for Love Stories. Real life Love Stories. Extraordinary stories. Stories that leave you stunned by their beauty and passion. Stories that affirm that love is out there for everyone. We all just have to be lucky enough to find it, recognize it and hold on to it.
Do you know any? If so, will you share them with the rest of us? We want to hear them.
Love is a promise, and a gift. Don't ever take it for granted. No matter what form it comes in.
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